Meditation - Learning the Value of Silence

The group from the silent retreat. I am the 3rd from the right

Recently, I went to a silent retreat and it was a life-changing event for me. As you might see in my meditation blog, it's been well over a year since I began it. During that time, I've tried to meditate but never really succeeded in calming my mind enough or sitting for more than a few minutes. The silent retreat was just what I needed to help me begin a serious practice.

The retreat I went to was actually a yoga retreat and, although we did several sessions of yoga, the 24 hours of silence and the one hour meditation sessions changed the way I thought about meditation.

Listening to a talk after our 24 hours of silence

On Friday night, we did a short meditation and then commenced 24 hours of silence. My mind was jumping around during that time, a real "Monkey Mind." The retreat center is out in the Texas countryside and is very dark and very quiet when you're used to city noises. My mind was so busy, I had trouble falling asleep.

During the night, tho, a subtle change took place within me. I woke up early (breakfast wasn't until 730 and a bell would ring at 7 to wake everyone for the day). I took a shower and then practiced tai chi for about 45 minutes amid the silence. It felt wonderful.

Silent yoga is interesting!

After a silent breakfast, we had our first one hour meditation and during that session I found out why I'd never been successful with practicing meditation in the past. It took my mind at least 30 minutes to settle down to the calm and silence and let the thoughts just drift.

The second half of the session was when I really started experiencing the true value of meditation.

During the 24 hours of the silent retreat, we could do whatever we wanted to. There were sessions of yoga and meditation scheduled, as well as an art class. We were free to journal or get any of the massage treatments offered at the center.

There is something freeing in silence.When we are in a group of people, especially people we don't know well, how much of our time is spent talking because we think we "should" be making conversation? It's nice to be interested in others but how often do we get the chance to have all that social pressure lifted and our only obligation is to listen to our own inner wisdom.

For the past few years, I've had many questions. I felt like I was asking the same questions over and over, but getting no answers. At the silent retreat, at one point, we walked the labyrinth out in the backyard. Before entering, our teacher held up a sign that said "Walk the labyrinth with the intention of letting go of........." and we were to fill in that blank. What popped into my mind is to ask to let go of asking. Just let it go and stop driving myself crazy with frustration over the lack of answers.

About half way through the labyrinth, I heard a voice in my head that said "This IS the answer." I knew somehow that it meant silence and letting go of the need to know was the answer I was seeking.

I felt that I'd been asking and asking for answers but I never shut up long enough to listen to my own inner wisdom. I needed to turn off the constant mind chatter and turn inward.

In the course of learning this value of silence, I returned home after the weekend and began my own daily meditation practice. I am no longer impatient with this intention to sit for 25 minutes a day, I look forward to it.

If you would like to begin a serious meditation practice, but you're having trouble doing it on your own, you might seek out a silent retreat or someone who teaches meditation to get you centered and calm in your mind. It gets much easier as time goes on.....